if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
