What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
