I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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