do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
