im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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