Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
