im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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