I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
if only i could text you this smell
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
