I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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