I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
