She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
