so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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