nut hugger
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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