my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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