dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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