Duck Duck Cougar?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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