I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
