That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
