I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
