My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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