i may or may not be watching the land before time
That reminds me...we need to get swords
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
