dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
