theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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