So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
