I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
