You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
