Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
