i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize