people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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