i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
