Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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