HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Randomize
