God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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