I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
