I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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