me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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