I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
