It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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