Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
