If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
