i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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