At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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