Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
only you would photoshop your dick
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
