Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
