we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
