Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
