shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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