I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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