thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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