I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
