Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
