oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
