The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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