my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
