I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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