How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
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