she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
