i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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