Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize